Why Does Losing A Friend Hurt More Than A Break Up?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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Because

it is harder to define expectations in platonic relationships

, friends are more likely to be on two different pages, which in turn can contribute to a separation—and make it more difficult to process post-breakup, according to Feuerman.

Does ending a friendship hurt?

It might have ended out of the blue, or you might have just gradually drifted apart. Either way, it's a tough deal. Though breakups are not discussed as often as romantic breakups, they happen to everyone. And

they can hurt just as bad –

or even worse – than a breakup with a romantic partner.

Why Ending a friendship is worse than a breakup?

Because

it is harder to define expectations in platonic relationships

, friends are more likely to be on two different pages, which in turn can contribute to a separation—and make it more difficult to process post-breakup, according to Feuerman.

Why does a friendship breakup hurt so much?

“Many of my clients apologise for bringing up their feelings about relationships that are ‘only friendships',” she adds. “They often

feel unreasonable

for making such a big deal about being upset about friends that have let them down or for spending time dwelling on a friendship that they feel no longer serves them.”

Should I feel bad for ending a friendship?

Ending a friendship is

emotionally taxing

. Its difficult to make the decision to break-up with a friend, have a difficult conversation, and enforce your boundaries. Youre also grieving the loss of your friend. Even if this friendship hasnt been fulfilling lately, your friend was once an important part of your life.

What can break a friendship?


Obligation

: The person has become an obligatory friend who you no longer enjoy. Rivalry: The person is actually a frenemy (a friendly rival). Toxicity: The friend has become a toxic person in your life. Values: Your values have become opposed in some way.

How do you accept a friendship is over?

  1. Write down all of the rifts between you that made the friendship fall apart. …
  2. Talk with the person about why the friendship ended. …
  3. Get rid of items that remind you of the person. …
  4. Avoid going places where your old friend frequents, as it may be awkward and uncomfortable to see him.

When you know a friendship is over?

Although everyone has good times and bad times,

if your friend tends to be more pessimistic than optimistic

, it may be a sign to end the friendship. “If you have a friend who is consistently negative without making efforts to change, it may be time for some distance,” Place said.

Why do some friendships end?

According to Bill, the most common cause of the hard break in a friendship is

betrayal

. This betrayal comes in two forms. The first is a betrayal of a shared understanding of what it means to live a good life. … When there is a direct violation of that common understanding, the friendship often ends.

How do you know if your losing your best friend?

  • You don't talk as often. …
  • You take long to answer or don't answer at all. …
  • Your interest in the conversation is minimal. …
  • No effort is made to see each other. …
  • The other person blames you. …
  • When they start choosing bae over you. …
  • You're more disappointed in your friendship than not.

How do u get over a broken heart?

  1. Don't Let Your Emotions Rule.
  2. Do Take Care of Yourself.
  3. Don't Get Stuck in the Past.
  4. Do Appreciate the Good Memories.
  5. Don't Deny Your Needs.
  6. Do Reevaluate Your Needs.
  7. Don't Jump Into a “Rebound” Relationship.
  8. Do Try Again When You're Ready.

How long does it take to get over a friendship breakup?

It might take

a few weeks to

get over a break up or a full year or two. People recover from grief at different paces, for one. You also might need more time to recover from certain relationships, particularly those that lasted longer or felt more meaningful to you. You may always carry some memory of your loss.

How do I stop obsessing over a lost friend?

  1. Compose a good-bye letter. Of course, no one is going to read it. …
  2. Pluck out the feeling. …
  3. Plan a ritual. …
  4. Fill the space with something new. …
  5. Get even. …
  6. Make a plan. …
  7. Stay with the pain. …
  8. Don't take it personally.

Why is ending a friendship so hard?

They

feel guilty

for not being “better” friends. They also may be hesitant to end a friendship if they feel that the person doesn't have many other friends and they feel sorry for him or her. Feeling that we “deserve” bad friends. … We put up with poor behavior because we feel that this is all we deserve to expect.

Should you forgive a toxic friend?

You can forgive your friend for his or her hurtful words and deeds and gain the mental health benefit from such forgiveness. … As long as you're earnest in your forgiveness, it doesn't matter whether your friend accepts the forgiveness or not. You've extended the kindness and begun the healing process.

How do you know when a friendship has run its course?

In fact, telltale sign #1 that your friendship has run its course, is

if you only communicate out of obligation or because you feel bad

. Sign #2: When you decide to have a dialogue and leave open-ended breadcrumbs or share/say something that is worthy of a response and you don't get one… i.e. you get left on read.

Leah Jackson
Author
Leah Jackson
Leah is a relationship coach with over 10 years of experience working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships. She holds a degree in psychology and has trained with leading relationship experts such as John Gottman and Esther Perel. Leah is passionate about helping people build strong, healthy relationships and providing practical advice to overcome common relationship challenges.