Who Should Go To A Viewing?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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Wakes and viewings are

usually open to all guests

, though if the family has not invited you or specified that the event is family-only, you should respect their wishes and not attend. If the body will be present and on view, you may want to prepare yourself emotionally.

Should I attend the viewing or funeral?


You should attend both the wake and the funeral for family members

and very close friends. If you're a member of the immediate family, people will want to express condolences to you. Even if it's difficult, being there is important.

Who should attend a viewing?

Show your respect

for your old friend

. Say a prayer or two. And reflect on how that person made a difference in your life. If you didn't know the deceased personally, maybe you know a friend, a neighbor, or a co-worker who recently lost a family member – consider attending the .

Should a child attend a viewing?

As a general guideline,

children should be allowed to attend a wake, funeral and burial if they want to

. … Joining family members for these rituals gives the child a chance to receive grief support from others and say goodbye in their own way to the person who has died.

Do you bring anything to a viewing?

Bring

edible gifts

like casseroles, sandwiches, baked goods, or fruit baskets so the family doesn't have to worry about food. They may even share it with guests. Cards are also a great thing to bring to a wake at home, especially when you write a heartfelt message celebrating the deceased.

How long do you stay at a viewing?


There is no requirement for how long you should stay

at a visitation. The length of your visit depends more on how well you know the family and how long it takes to offer your condolences and speak to other visitors. Many people stay a short time, about 15 minutes, which can be long enough to extend your sympathies.

Is it OK to go to viewing and not funeral?

To support them,

you can go to the visitation, but not the funeral

. What really matters is you show up when it means the most. You may not know how important it is to have the people you care about around when you are grieving. Showing support during a visitation, funeral, or both is vital.

What do you say at a viewing?

  • My condolences.
  • I'm really sorry you're going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.

What do you do at a viewing?

During a viewing,

the body of the deceased is present

, often in an open casket. The deceased will have been embalmed and prepared by the funeral home, in most cases, and otherwise ready for the burial or cremation. This is an opportunity to see the deceased one last time and say your quiet goodbyes.

How long should you stay at a wake?

According to the The Funeral Source, it is appropriate for guests to stay at the wake for

as little as 15 to 20 minutes

. However, you should use your own discretion upon deciding when to leave. If you're close with the family, you may want to stay longer.

Should a child view an open casket?

Viewing an open casket should be a person's choice, whatever their age.

You should never force a child to view

an open casket or even to go to the funeral. … Every child will be different in their understanding of what is happening, this has a lot to do with maturity and not always as much to do with age.

Does a 4 year old understand death?

Children begin to grasp death's finality around age 4. In one typical study, researchers found that 10 percent of 3-year-olds understand irreversibility, compared with

58 percent of 4-year-olds

. The other two aspects of death are learned a bit later, usually between age 5 and 7.

Should you let a child see a dead parent?


Young children do not need to be there when a parent actually dies

, but it's important for them to stay in their home where they feel the most secure. It may be tempting to have a child stay with another relative during this time, but that can create other problems for the child.

How should I dress for a viewing?

We recommend wearing

dark or neutral colors

, to avoid standing out in the crowd. Darker colors reflect the mourning atmosphere of the service or visitation. Men will generally wear suits or dress pants, dress shirts and jackets along with a subtle tie. Women typically wear pants, skirts and blouses, dresses or suits.

Should you bring flowers to a viewing?

If you're close family or knew the deceased very well, it's

customary to send flowers for the visitation and funeral

and in some cases, even to the family's home. If you're more an acquaintance, work colleague, distant friend, etc then sending sympathy flowers to their home or the viewing is a polite thing to do.

What should I bring to a viewing service?

  • Single Flower. Inexpensive yet heartfelt and touching. …
  • Sympathy Bouquet. The classic gift to bring to a memorial service. …
  • Sympathy Card. Take the time to write out a brief note expressing your condolences. …
  • Gift Certificate. …
  • Food.
Maria Kunar
Author
Maria Kunar
Maria is a cultural enthusiast and expert on holiday traditions. With a focus on the cultural significance of celebrations, Maria has written several blogs on the history of holidays and has been featured in various cultural publications. Maria's knowledge of traditions will help you appreciate the meaning behind celebrations.