In a sense, it's never a “must”.
There's no law saying a person must attend a wake or funeral
. But there are circumstances where not attending would be shocking, or at least disrespectful. I would say these occasions would be when the deceased is a member of one's nuclear family or family of origin.
Who should attend wakes?
In most situations, going to one or the other is acceptable – especially if you did not know the deceased but are going to provide support to a friend or family member. If you were close to the deceased and/or close to the family, then
every effort should
be made to attend the wake and the funeral services.
Who should attend a wake or funeral?
You should attend both the wake and the funeral for family members and very close friends
. If you're a member of the immediate family, people will want to express condolences to you. Even if it's difficult, being there is important.
Who normally attends a funeral?
The deceased is a close friend or family member
.
If you are close to the deceased then, by all means, attend the funeral. If there are extenuating circumstances and you are having difficulty deciding, talk it over with a friend or family member.
When should you go to a funeral or visitation?
A wake, also known as a visitation,
typically occurs before the funeral takes place
. The body is present at this time for people to pay their respects and offer condolences to loved ones of the deceased.
How long should you stay at a wake?
According to the The Funeral Source, it is appropriate for guests to stay at the wake for
as little as 15 to 20 minutes
. However, you should use your own discretion upon deciding when to leave. If you're close with the family, you may want to stay longer.
Is it rude not to attend a funeral?
Is It Disrespectful to Not Go to a Funeral?
It is at your discretion to decide whether attending a certain funeral is disrespectful
or not. Keep in mind, that family and friends may have an opinion on your decision to not attend, so it's best to be prepared with a response that explains why you've opted out.
Do you not want to attend a funeral?
If you can't attend a funeral, simply
offer the family your regrets for not being able to
. Also offer your condolences. You do not have to give away your reason for not going if you don't want to; that is your business.
What food do you bring to a wake?
- Baked Ziti or Similar Pasta Dishes. Baked pasta is always a crowd pleaser. …
- Potato Casseroles. Potato casseroles have a long tradition as a comfort food. …
- Sandwich Trays. …
- Deviled Eggs. …
- Salads. …
- Meatballs. …
- Meat/Cheese Trays. …
- Fruit/Vegetable Trays.
Is it disrespectful to wear white to a funeral?
Wearing a white dress shirt is generally fine along with a grey, black, or navy suit and a toned-down tie—no bright colors or prints. … Remember that
the main point of not wearing white to a funeral is to avoid standing out
. Everyone is trying to think about the life of the person who died.
What should you not say at a funeral?
- “He/She Deserved to Die” …
- “It Could be Worse” …
- “It was Destiny” …
- “Everything Happens for a Reason” …
- “At Least…” …
- “You're Still Young” …
- “It's Better…”
Who should not go to a funeral?
Reasons Not To Attend A Funeral Or Memorial Service
If the funeral or memorial service is for
family only
or if you think your presence would make the bereaved uncomfortable, then you should not attend.
What are words of comfort at a funeral?
Here are some examples of what to say at a funeral:
I'm sorry for your loss
.
He will be missed by everyone
that knew him. She was a lovely woman and will be greatly missed. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
How much do you give for a funeral wake?
There is no set amount, as it should be a gift – so give whatever you think is enough, and gift from the heart.
An amount of $10 is perfectly acceptable
, and is usually dependent on your relationship with the family. Place your contributions in an envelope, and leave the envelope with a family member of the deceased.
What is the purpose of a wake?
The purpose of a wake in modern times is
to share memories and stories of the lost loved one
. It can be seen as a celebration of the person's life, as well as an opportunity for family and friends to comfort each other in grief. During a wake, there will often be refreshments.
How long do you stay at a viewing?
There is no requirement for how long you should stay
at a visitation. The length of your visit depends more on how well you know the family and how long it takes to offer your condolences and speak to other visitors. Many people stay a short time, about 15 minutes, which can be long enough to extend your sympathies.
