Do You Bring Something To A Shiva?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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Do you bring something to a Shiva? Suggested items for a Shiva basket are:

baked goods and desserts, fresh fruit, dried fruit and nuts or chocolates

. A Shiva platter usually contains cooked meats, fish and/or specialty salads. If the mourners keep a Kosher home, it is imperative to choose Kosher food to send.

Do you take something to a shiva?

In many Orthodox communities,

mourners usually aren't expected to bring food or to the shiva

. Close friends of the family or members of the community will organize food for mourners. If you're not certain what to do, check with the family or synagogue before making a shiva call.

What do you send for a shiva?


Shiva baskets typically contain baked goods, dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruits and/or chocolates

. The food items in a shiva basket are designed to provide nourishment and energy to those sitting shiva for the entire seven days. This is a traditional shiva gift and is appropriate to give to a Jewish family in mourning.

How long do you stay at a shiva?

Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—

it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home

.

What should you not bring to a shiva?

Avoid

food that requires work on the part of the mourners

. Kosher cookies, cakes, candies, nuts are all welcome at shiva as long as they are crowd pleasers and easy to serve. Jewish custom discourages sending flowers or gifts other than food when people are sitting Shiva.

What should you not do at a shiva?

This is not necessarily bad; however, you should be careful to avoid

raucous humor, tasteless jokes, loud talk, and gossip

. Do not stay too long. A shiva visit should be no more than an hour. If a service is held, come a few minutes before and stay a few after.

What do you bring for condolences?

  • Flowers. Flowers are the most traditional gifts for a funeral. …
  • A Donation. Many people choose to send a donation in lieu of a funeral gift. …
  • Mementos. …
  • A Home-Cooked Meal. …
  • The Best Funeral Gifts Are from the Heart.

Is it appropriate to bring wine to shiva?

My understanding is that traditions have relaxed somewhat in most religious communities but that

wine is permitted even from the first portion of lamentation throughout the period of Shiva

. It is not a wake, nor a celebration, not until the first seven days are past.

How do you prepare for shiva?

  1. Decide where, when and at what times you will sit shiva. …
  2. Note times that will be reserved for family and times that will be open to visitors.
  3. Coordinate meals for the family through shiva.
  4. Set up and prepare the shiva house. …
  5. To create a custom Shiva Planning Checklist on eCondolence click here.

Can I wear jeans to shiva?

Though there is no specific shiva attire, when attending a shiva you should dress respectfully.

Men should wear long pants

and women should dress conservatively. If the shiva is being held in the home of an orthodox Jewish family, women will be expected to wear long skirts (below the knees) and long-sleeved shirts.

Can you drink alcohol during shiva?

Some may refrain from anything associated with happiness and festivity, like wine. However,

this is not prohibited

. A considerate means of bringing comfort to those in mourning is to prevent them from having to cook. You may bring a Shiva platter along with you on a visit.

What do you wear to a shiva house?

The dress code for a Shiva visit—The most important thing to remember about your dress—be respectful. It's better to err on the conservative side.

Men should wear long pants and women are best advised to wear long skirts and long-sleeved shirts

.

Can you take food from a shiva house?

REMOVAL OF ITEMS FOR THE SHIVA HOUSE

It is a custom not to remove anything from the Shiva house during the week of Shiva.

The return of food should be done after the Shiva period is completed

.

Should I bring a gift to a memorial service?

Answer:

You don't have to bring a gift, and in most cases it's not expected or required

. But a small, thoughtful gift is a nice gesture and probably a good idea if you're especially close to the family.

What to gift someone who lost a family member?

  • Sympathy gift baskets and food. Every Plate. …
  • Relieve tension and stress. …
  • Sympathy flowers and plants. …
  • Sympathy jewelry and memorials. …
  • Sympathy books and inspiration.

What is a nice gesture when someone dies?

If you didn't know the person, you can also help your friend

put together a memory book of pictures and mementos of their loved one

, and encourage them to share stories with you. A sweet gesture would also be to gift them with a keepsake box in which they can keep mementos.

What are the rules of shiva?

  • Leaving the house, except to go to synagogue on Shabbat, or even during the week if there is no minyan at the shiva house.
  • Work or any business pursuits.
  • Shaving or haircuts.
  • Bathing, other than for basic hygiene.
  • The use of cosmetics.
  • Wearing leather shoes.
  • Festivities of any kind.
  • Wearing new clothing.

Do u wear black to shiva?

What do you eat while sitting shiva?

The flame burns for the entire length of shiva. Shiva Meal (Seudat Havra-ah) is a meal of condolence prepared by friends to provide the mourners sustenance following the burial. The meal should contain round foods (symbolizing life and renewal), such as

hard-boiled eggs, bagels or lentils

.

Why do you sit on low chairs during shiva?

Among the many traditions that are an essential part of Shiva is the arrangement of the seating. The seating for family members is customarily either low stools/chairs or boxes,

so that the immediate mourners are actually seated below the visiting mourners

.

Can you sit Shiva for a pet?

The simple answer to your question is that

there is no Jewish mourning ritual for an animal

. There is nothing to stop you from taking time out of your ordinary schedule to reflect on your loss but you mustn't confuse this with the religious nature of a shivah ritual. Judaism has great compassion for animals.

Can you shave during shiva?

Can Jews be cremated?

In Jewish law, the human body belongs to God, not to the individual.

Jewish law and tradition consider cremation as destruction of property.

What can you not say at a shiva house?

  • “How are you?” (They're not so good.)
  • “I know how you feel.” (No you don't. …
  • “At least she lived a long life.” (Longer would have been better.)
  • “It's good that you have other children,” or, “Don't worry, you'll have more.” (The loss of a child, no matter what age, is completely devastating.)

Is it appropriate to bring wine to shiva?

My understanding is that traditions have relaxed somewhat in most religious communities but that

wine is permitted even from the first portion of lamentation throughout the period of Shiva

. It is not a wake, nor a celebration, not until the first seven days are past.

How do you prepare for shiva?

  1. Decide where, when and at what times you will sit shiva. …
  2. Note times that will be reserved for family and times that will be open to visitors.
  3. Coordinate meals for the family through shiva.
  4. Set up and prepare the shiva house. …
  5. To create a custom Shiva Planning Checklist on eCondolence click here.

What do you say at a shiva house?

It is a mitzvah to visit a house of mourning during Shiva. We visit to offer friendship and sympathy to the mourner. It is customary to say to the mourners:

Ha-Makom ye-nachem etchem be-toch she'ar avelay Tziyon vi-Yerushala'yim. May the Lord comfort you together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Maria Kunar
Author
Maria Kunar
Maria is a cultural enthusiast and expert on holiday traditions. With a focus on the cultural significance of celebrations, Maria has written several blogs on the history of holidays and has been featured in various cultural publications. Maria's knowledge of traditions will help you appreciate the meaning behind celebrations.