Do Opposite Actually Attract?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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“We tend to gravitate to people who have similar interests to us, and who are similar to us in background,” Durvasula says. “So,

in fact, opposites don't really attract

.” Research backs this up. … The researchers found that these people had a whopping 86 percent similarity on all the factors.

Is it true that opposites attract in a relationship?

The idea that “opposites attract” in is

a myth

. In reality, people tend to be attracted to those who are similar to themselves, as dozens of studies have shown. This could be because personality contrasts tend to stand out and become bigger over time.

Do complete opposites really attract?

Further research on complementary personalities suggest mixed results. A few studies parroted Winch's findings, but most studies, in a pool of over 300, found that

the opposites largely do not attract

. People are pulled to those who they share similarities with in one way or another.

Do opposites work well together?

What's more, science has found that couples with different personality types work – and can be super-happy together. According to 2012 research by Cornell University's Vanessa K. Bohns, published in the journal Social Cognition,

opposite couples worked well together as a team on mutually-shared long term goals

.

Is it better to be with someone who is similar or opposite?

In human terms, this would imply it's

better to be similar to your partner

. Indeed, for a long time psychologists and others have argued that similarity is probably beneficial – after all, then we will be more likely to enjoy the same pursuits, values and outlook on life.

Should you marry your opposite?

This recent study examined married couples to find out if opposites

fare well in marriage

, or if picking a partner more like yourself is the better way to go. The results? According to the study, couples who shared similar values were happier in their marriages.

Can a relationship work if you don't have much in common?

Differences don't have to be a problem, and can even be eye-opening if you choose to share them with each other. As long as you have similar core values and work to create a harmonious relationship, experts say you

can still have a long-lasting relationship

, even if you don't have the following in common.

Do opposites really attract psychology?

For decades, psychologists and sociologists have pointed out that the idea that opposites attract is a myth. In fact, almost all the evidence

suggests that opposites very rarely attract

. … In fact, the greater the degree of attitudinal similarity, the greater the attraction and liking.

Do opposites attract in friendships?

Opposites do attract… when making friends:

Differences in personalities make for better friendships

but when it comes to romance partners should be two of a kind, says study. It is often said that opposites attract. Now psychologists agree – but only for explaining why people become best friends.

Is it bad to date someone who is just like you?

There are pros and cons to dating someone with the same personality as you. Dating someone very similar to you can

definitely promote better understanding at times

, especially in the beginning, or “adjustment period” of a new relationship, as another study found.

Should I date someone who is not my type?

But whatever your preferences have been up to this point, you may want to reconsider your screening

prerequisites

and recognize that dating someone who isn't your typical type can be quite beneficial. In fact, experts say it can be the key to developing a meaningful, fulfilling relationship.

Should you marry someone with the same personality?

Ultimately, marrying someone with the same personality type

as you helps to ensure harmony

, but it's not a complete guarantee against disagreement and arguments. Personality types only take us so far; the rest comes from the bond between a couple and how you are willing to compromise for one another.

What are polar opposites in a relationship?

This one happens by default because sympathy is an important part of understanding, kindness and forming happy, healthy relationships.
understanding different perspectives and being more accepting of the differences that exist between you and your partner

.

What should I not tell my wife?

  • “You're crazy.” …
  • Nothing. …
  • “It's your fault.” …
  • “You always….” or “You never…” …
  • “Just be nicer/better,” or any other vague request. …
  • “The word “divorce” said in anger/during a fight.

Can a relationship work if you have different interests?

And many couples enjoy bonding through playing a sport together or sharing a variety of hobbies. But there are plenty of couples whose interests diverge. As long as a couple prioritizes spending time together on a regular basis,

it is reasonable to pursue completely different interests

.

How much in common should couples have?

Don Cole, master certified Gottman therapist at couples counseling and research center The Gottman Institute, told Revelist that there are really only two things that couples need to have in common in order to make their relationships work:

having a shared meaning in the relationship, and showing interest in our

Leah Jackson
Author
Leah Jackson
Leah is a relationship coach with over 10 years of experience working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships. She holds a degree in psychology and has trained with leading relationship experts such as John Gottman and Esther Perel. Leah is passionate about helping people build strong, healthy relationships and providing practical advice to overcome common relationship challenges.