Can Someone That Loves You Hurt You?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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Can someone that loves you hurt you? Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless,

someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.

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Why would you still love someone who hurt you?

Love Is Pain

Before we start with the reasons, we should always remember that love can be suffering. We all know that it can be painful and difficult to deal with. But what’s inside our heart that makes us love someone who has caused us pain? The answer is simple:

because they’re our soulmate

.

Is it true that you hurt the people you love the most?

The truth is,

we tend to be more hostile to those we love most, even when they don’t deserve it

. Research has shown that romantic partners, best friends and family members are the most common targets of our “everyday aggression,” such as yelling, heated confrontations and hurtful gossip.

What do you do when the person you love hurts you?

The only way to truly stop feeling guilty after you’ve hurt someone you love is to

forgive yourself

. Self-forgiveness is the only way to truly recover and move forward after you’ve hurt someone you love. Before forgiving yourself for having hurt someone you love, though, you’ll want to apologize to them first.

Why do I miss people who hurt me?

The ultimate fundamental reason why we miss someone or something is that

once it made us feel good

. Our brain functions in a very different way than we might assume. Its job is to keep you safe and happy at this particular moment. That is all it does.

What hurts the most in a relationship?


You don’t trust

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won’t cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too.

Can you love someone so much that it hurts?

Well, yes.

Loving someone so much that it hurts is possible

, and there are reasons why people indulge in that. A major reason why people tend to be loving too much in a relationship is that they don’t feel worthy.

Why do guys hurt the one they love?

We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1)

Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma

– we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.

Why do I love someone who treated me badly?


We feel they love us even though they treat us badly

. This contradiction is known as cognitive dissonance, where we believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. As a result of the contradiction we can become more extreme in our thoughts and behaviours as we wrestle with the disconnect.

How do you stop thinking about someone who hurt you?

  1. Don’t Make Contact. Many times, people want to “remain friends” after a breakup. …
  2. Stop Looking at Their Social Media. …
  3. Turn to Your Support System. …
  4. Focus on Self-Acceptance. …
  5. Love Yourself. …
  6. Allow Yourself to the Pain You Feel. …
  7. Be Yourself. …
  8. Practice Mindfulness.

Is it true if you miss someone they feel the same?

So

yes, even if you’re just thinking about them, you’ll be surprised that it will actually have an effect on them

because some people are just psychics, especially if your bond is strong. And there are psychic signs to know that someone misses you.

What can destroy a relationship?

  • – Confiding in others. …
  • – Being manipulative There are times when you may feel that you are not in the right relationship and your partner is not perfect. …
  • – Hiding addictions. …
  • – Emotional cheating. …
  • – Financial cheating. …
  • – Being selfish. …
  • – Not standing up for your partner.

What kills romance in a relationship?

Staying passionate doesn’t require that you spend all your time together. “

Demanding your partner’s constant attention, not having outside interests or friends, or extreme jealousy

are toxic to romance,” says Stein.

What makes a relationship toxic?

A toxic relationship is

one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked

. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time. Toxic relationships can exist in just about any context, from the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom.

Can love make your heart hurt?


Love can literally break your heart

The scientific term is “stress-induced cardiomyopathy” and it can strike even the healthiest person when their stress hormones surge during an emotionally stressful event, such as the death of a partner, divorce, or even a bad breakup.

What happens when you love someone too much?

Consequences of loving someone too much. Loving someone means,

you respect each other’s boundaries

. Loving too much means – you dismantle those boundaries, stop taking care of yourself, and do everything for your partner just to make them happy. You only end up destroying your self-worth and the love is at stake.

Is it unhealthy to love someone too much?

Really,

there is no such thing as loving too much or having too much love in your life

. Love is positive, supportive, and necessary for health and growth. However, it is what you DO when you love someone that can sometimes turn unhealthy. You can love deeply and wholly while having healthy relationship behaviors.

How a man feel when he hurts a woman?

The answer is it means a lot. To start with, many emotions go on when a man hurts you.

Anger, frustration, disappointment, and resentment

are a few of what a man feels when his woman is broken. The specific feeling a man has will depend on what caused the disagreement or fight in the first place.

How do guys feel after hurting a girl?

But if a kindhearted man hurts a woman he loves — physically or emotionally — he feels

similar levels of pain in his heart

. The guilt and regret he feels translate into pain, and this makes it even more difficult to accept what he’s done to his woman.

Does he feel guilty for hurting me?


Your ex won’t leave you alone

. One other way to tell if your ex is feeling guilty about the hurt he caused you is if he just can’t seem to leave you alone. You may have broken up, but he’s still calling or messaging you, still following you on social media, or talking to your friends to hear about what you’re up to.

Can someone love you and still treat you badly?

Can you love someone and treat them badly?

Yes, you can love someone and treat them this way

. This often arises when a person does not learn how to properly treat people as a child, or because they have a hard time expressing their emotions.

Why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me?


It can be related to childhood traumas or variations of abuse at any age

. When pain is all you know, it can be challenging to seek alternative behaviors. There’s also the instances in which we are blinded by love. It’s easy to get caught up in a relationship, even when it’s toxic.

How do you stop loving someone who treats you badly?

  1. 6 Ways to Let Go of Toxic Relationships:
  2. Seek a partner you can be yourself with and is easy to be close to. …
  3. Set an expectation of mutual respect. …
  4. Don’t compromise your values. …
  5. Be more assertive in relationships.

Is it OK to ignore someone who hurt you?

Get away from them as quickly as possible and find someone who can help you or call emergency services as soon as it’s safe to do so.

If someone is threatening you or physically abusing you, don’t ignore it

! Even if you walk away from the situation, they might continue the behavior later or hurt someone else.

How do you let go of someone you love?

  1. Decide Whether the Relationship Is Worth it. Behavior psychologist Wendy M. …
  2. Cut Off Contact. …
  3. Accept That You’re Only in Control of Your Own Actions. …
  4. Lean on Friends and Family. …
  5. Trust the Process. …
  6. Prioritize Self-Care. …
  7. Reframe Your Definition of Forgiveness. …
  8. Rebound with Caution.

What are the signs when someone is thinking about you?


Your Eye Twitches or Itches Randomly

A randomly twitching or itching eye is another real psychic sign that someone is thinking about you. But it gets even better. While both men and women will feel a sudden itch or twitch of an eye, the meaning is different depending on the eye.

Why can’t I stop thinking about someone?

If you are unable to stop thinking about someone, you most likely have ‘

anxious attachment

‘. You might push and pull in relationships to get a break from the anxiety they cause you. But if the other person leaves, you panic.

Why do I keep thinking about someone?

“When we ruminate and really obsess about someone,

it’s because the dopamine response has gotten triggered

,” she says. That’s why, more often than not, you obsess over people you don’t really know quite as well — as opposed to someone you’ve been in a relationship with for five years.

Why can’t I stop thinking about him?

What kills a relationship fast?

Aside from all-out abusive behavior,

blaming and shaming

may be the fastest way to kill your connection. Both behaviors communicate contempt for your partner, displaying that you view him or her as beneath you or deserving of scorn.

How do u know that your relationship is over?

  • There’s No Emotional Connection.
  • Physical Intimacy Doesn’t Appeal to You Anymore.
  • It’s Hard to Agree on Anything.
  • Someone Else Seems More Appealing.
  • The Trust Is Gone.
  • Your Goals Don’t Align.

What is the number one thing that destroys a relationship?

What to say to someone who has hurt you but you still love them?

  • “I care about you.”
  • “I respect you.”
  • “I want to fix our relationship.”
  • “I want to move past this.”
  • “I want to understand each other better.”
  • “I want to be open with you.”

Why do we go back to the ones that hurt us?

The mind tries to focus on the painful memories, but the heart will hold on to the beautiful ones. Those are the ones that will haunt you.

There is comfort in familiarity, so sometimes we cling tighter to the good memories than we do to the bad

. This is why we keep running back to the people who have hurt us.

How do you get over someone who treated you badly?

  1. 6 Ways to Let Go of Toxic Relationships:
  2. Seek a partner you can be yourself with and is easy to be close to. …
  3. Set an expectation of mutual respect. …
  4. Don’t compromise your values. …
  5. Be more assertive in relationships.

Should you reach out to someone who hurt you?


Reaching out might not get you what you want, and could even make you feel worse

. Dr. Franco says you should ask yourself if you have the psychological wherewithal to deal with that in this moment. “If the answer is no, then I wouldn’t reach out for closure at this time when you’re feeling so vulnerable,” she said.

Leah Jackson
Author
Leah Jackson
Leah is a relationship coach with over 10 years of experience working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships. She holds a degree in psychology and has trained with leading relationship experts such as John Gottman and Esther Perel. Leah is passionate about helping people build strong, healthy relationships and providing practical advice to overcome common relationship challenges.