- Express your hurt in a letter. Deborah Copaken, a Brooklyn journalist, wrote to the man who had raped her 30 years before, reminding him of what he did and how hard it's been for her to overcome. …
- Decide if something else can compensate. …
- Suggest alternative reparations.
How do you make someone say sorry?
- Before you do anything, practise self-affirmation. It's important to start by saying a few positive words to yourself. …
- Spell out why you want to apologise. …
- Admit you were wrong. …
- Acknowledge the other person's feelings. …
- Say you're sorry. …
- Ask them to forgive you.
How do you take responsibility for hurting someone?
- Stop the harmful behavior.
- Name the behavior.
- Acknowledge the effects your behavior has on others.
- Make repairs for the harm caused.
- Change harmful attitudes and behaviors.
What do you do when someone won't apologize?
- acknowledge why you were hurt.
- take ownership of their actions.
- accept the blame instead of placing it on you.
- doesn't take an accusatory stance.
- isn't conditional.
- won't make you feel worse about yourself.
How do you make a heartfelt apology?
- Name what you did wrong. Don't just say: “I'm sorry you got hurt.” That's not owning up to your actions. …
- Use empathy. Maybe your actions wouldn't have hurt you, but the fact is that they hurt someone else. …
- Make it all about you. …
- Keep explanations brief. …
- Let it go.
Are we responsible for our feelings?
We are not responsible for the feelings of others
(although we are responsible to them), and we cannot, nor do we, cause those feelings to emerge. Unless we do something intentionally hurtful to another person, the feelings that they experience are those that they have created for themselves.
Are you responsible for someone else's feelings?
We are not responsible for the feelings of others
(although we are responsible to them), and we cannot, nor do we, cause those feelings to emerge. Unless we do something intentionally hurtful to another person, the feelings that they experience are those that they have created for themselves.
How does a narcissist apologize?
Loath to admit mistakes, narcissists focus on preserving their image and protecting themselves from discomfort—regardless of the discomfort they cause others. Apologies that begin with phrases such as “
I'm sorry
but” or “I'm sorry if” often lack authenticity.
Why do narcissists never apologize?
For the same reason the narcissist does not apologize,
he also never forgives
. … If someone apologizes to them (often in a misguided attempt to end conflict), narcissists see it as proof of their superiority and may take the opportunity to further punish that person for whatever s/he may or may not have done wrong.
What should you not say when you apologize?
- 1. ” I'm sorry, but…” …
- “I'm sorry you feel that way.” …
- 3. ” …
- 4. ” …
- “You're making a big deal out of nothing.” …
- Getting mad because they're mad at you. …
- “Are you PMSing?” …
- “I don't want to fight about this!”
What makes a good apology?
Every apology should start with two magic words: “I'm sorry,” or “I apologize.” … Your words need to be sincere and authentic .
Be honest with yourself
, and with the other person, about why you want to apologize. Never make an apology when you have ulterior motives, or if you see it as a means to an end.
What is a true apology?
A real apology has three main components: (1) it acknowledges the actions taken and resulting pain inflicted on you; (2) it provides an action plan for how s/he will right the wrong; and (3)
there is an actual change in behavior proving to you
that there won't be a repeat of the past.
How do I apologize to a friend I hurt?
I realize I hurt your feelings
, and I'm sorry,” acknowledges that you know what it was you said that hurt the other person, and you take responsibility for it. Don't make assumptions and don't try to shift the blame. Make it clear that you regret your actions and that you are sincerely sorry.
Can a person control their emotions?
So, the short answer is
no, you cannot “control” your emotions
. But if you follow the strategies to accept your emotions as they come, you will find that you do not have to let your emotions control you.
How do I own my emotions?
- Allow yourself to feel. When we feel emotions, especially negative ones, many of us try to suppress them. …
- Don't ignore how you're feeling. …
- Talk it out. …
- Try Journaling. …
- Build your emotional vocabulary. …
- Consider the strength of your feelings. …
- See a mental health professional.
How do I stop being so responsible?
- 1) Set your boundaries! Boundaries are where we begin and another person ends. …
- 2) Boundaries are about YOU. …
- 3) You can't change other people. …
- 4) You get to decide what you're willing to put up with. …
- 5) Don't stress over someone's negative response.