What Do You Say To Your Child Instead Of Calm Down?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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“Rather than saying ‘calm down,' say something like, ‘

Hey, I'm here for you. What do you need from me right now?

‘”

What is better to say than calm down?

“Calm down.” “

Just relax

.” “Don't worry about it.” “Stop stressing out.” “It will be fine.” “Don't get so upset.” We have all probably been told these phrases, or something similar, by another person when we were angry, anxious, or stressed. We may even ourselves be guilty of saying them to another person.

Why is saying calm down rude?

To the person receiving those words, “calm down” the tone come across

as condescending

. Even if you try to sound very subdued and matter-of-fact. If you're the person saying “calm down” to someone who's visibly upset or distraught, you're subtly acting as if you have the upper hand.

What is the most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child?

Luke adds that “the most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is

a lie that they find out later was not true

. If this pattern repeats enough times, it will be very psychologically damaging.”

How do you calm down an angry text?

  1. Find out why they're upset.
  2. Validate their perspective.
  3. Apologize if you made a mistake.
  4. Ask them questions about their feelings.
  5. Check if they want advice before you give it.
  6. Offer a solution.
  7. Reread your responses before you hit “send.”

Why you should never say calm down?

Telling your child to “calm down” also doesn't encourage growth or promote healthy coping skills. Instead, the phrase

causes your child to stifle their feelings and learn that it's not OK to cry or get upset

. “It tells the child that expressing emotions is not accepted or appropriate.

How do you tell someone to calm down funny?

  1. Cool your jets/pits! …
  2. Give it a rest! …
  3. Hold your horses← This is more like 1880's sounding! …
  4. Keep your shirt on! …
  5. Loosen up! …
  6. Simmer down!

What do you say to a frustrated person?

  • Don't ignore the person.
  • Be open to listening to what they have to say.
  • Keep your voice calm when they're upset.
  • Try to talk things through.
  • Acknowledge their distress, but don't feel like you have to back down if you disagree. …
  • Avoid pushing advice or opinions on them. …
  • Give them space if they need it.

What is a toxic parent?

When people discuss they are typically describing parents

who consistently behave in ways that cause guilt, fear, or obligation in their children

. … And that means that they may make mistakes, yell too much, or do potentially damaging things to their kids — even unintentionally.

What are things toxic parents say?

A toxic parent's behavior is defined by

self-centered attitudes, controlling, physical and psychological abuse, manipulations, and complete disregard for personal boundaries

. Generally, toxic parents try to control you by invoking a sense of intense guilt, obligation, or inadequacy.

How do you calm an angry child?

  1. Teach Your Child About Feelings.
  2. Create an Anger Thermometer.
  3. Develop a Calm-Down Plan.
  4. Cultivate Anger Management Skills.
  5. Don't Give In to Tantrums.
  6. Follow Through With Consequences.
  7. Avoid Violent Media.

How do you relax with words?

  1. “Thank you.” …
  2. “Nevertheless…” …
  3. “I am lovable.” …
  4. “I am loving.” …
  5. “Calm down.” …
  6. “I'm excited.” …
  7. “No.” …
  8. “This too shall pass.”

What damage does shouting at a child do?

Research shows that yelling and harsh verbal discipline can have similar negative effects as corporal punishment. Children who are constantly yelled at are more likely to have

behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, stress, and other emotional issues

, similar to children who are hit or spanked frequently.

What can I say to calm a girl down?

  1. Give Her Flowers. Flowers are believed to make people feel instantly happy. …
  2. Talk To Her. …
  3. Listen to Her. …
  4. A Hug Would be Nice. …
  5. Say Sorry with Gifts. …
  6. Treat Her. …
  7. Be Humorous.

What do you say to a grumpy child?

  • Instead of: Stop throwing things! …
  • Instead of: Big kids don't do this! …
  • Instead of: Don't be angry! …
  • Instead of: Don't you dare hit! …
  • Instead of: You're being so difficult! …
  • Instead of: That's it, you're getting a time out! …
  • Instead of: Brush your teeth right now!

How do you say I'm calm?

  1. calm. adjective. used about the way someone talks or behaves.
  2. relaxed. adjective. calm and not worried.
  3. cool. adjective. calm and relaxed.
  4. composed. adjective. calm and relaxed.
  5. nonchalant. adjective. relaxed and not worried about anything.
  6. laid-back. adjective. …
  7. at ease. phrase. …
  8. easygoing. adjective.

How do you cheer up a frustrated person?

  1. Ask Them If They Want Help. …
  2. Simply Be There for Them. …
  3. Take On a Creative Project Together. …
  4. Leave Your Friend a Handwritten Note. …
  5. Swing the Blues Away. …
  6. Go Get Some Ice Cream. …
  7. Do Whatever They Want to Do. …
  8. Volunteer Together.

What are signs of a toxic mother?

  • They're self-centered. They don't think about your needs or feelings.
  • They're emotional loose cannons. They overreact, or create drama.
  • They overshare. …
  • They seek control. …
  • They're harshly critical. …
  • They lack boundaries.

How do you respond to an emotional text?

  1. 1 Be open to hearing them without judgment.
  2. 2 Ask questions if you need clarification about their feelings.
  3. 3 Manage your own emotions.
  4. 4 Validate what they're saying.
  5. 5 Use follow-up questions.
  6. 6 Keep the focus on them.
  7. 7 Avoid replying with cliches.

How do you motivate someone who is frustrated?

  1. #1 Be Around Positive People. When you're feeling frustrated the last thing you want is to be surrounded by people who will encourage negativity. …
  2. #2 Talk About It. …
  3. #3 Be Active. …
  4. #4 Make an Action Plan. …
  5. #5 Give Yourself a Reality Check.

Is it wrong to cut off your mother?

“However, it's totally

healthy

and appropriate for individuals to set boundaries with family members.” Sometimes, limiting or eliminating contact with a parent is much less damaging than having them in your life.

How does an angry parent affect a child?

Children of angry parents are more aggressive and noncompliant. … There is a strong relationship between parental anger and delinquency. The effects of parental anger can continue to impact the adult child, including

increasing degrees of depression, social alienation, spouse abuse and career and economic achievement

.

How do you know if your parent hates you?


excessive criticism

.

overly harsh or excessive punishments

, such as smashing your phone because you were using it when you were supposed to be doing homework. unwillingness to listen to your side or consider your feelings (keep in mind they can consider your feelings and still set consequences)

How can I be a calmer parent?

  1. Consider the negative consequences of expressing anger. …
  2. Give yourself a timeout. …
  3. When appropriate, let your family members be wrong. …
  4. Decide which is more important: being happy or being right. …
  5. Take a minute to notice your anger. …
  6. Ask yourself why you're upset.

How do you fix a relationship with a child after yelling?

Repair the Relationship: If hurtful words were said, harsh punishments were given or physical aggression occurred, your children may feel disconnected from you. Set the situation aside temporarily,

wait on giving consequences and focus instead on

repairing the relationship with your kids.

How do you discipline a child without hitting and yelling?

  1. Time-Out. …
  2. Losing Privileges. …
  3. Ignoring Mild Misbehavior. …
  4. Teaching New Skills. …
  5. Logical Consequences. …
  6. Natural Consequences. …
  7. Rewards for Good Behavior. …
  8. Praise for Good Behavior.

How do you say you are stressed?

You can talk about the feeling of being stressed by

saying you are stressed out or wound up

. These are both quite informal expressions so if you want to be more formal, you can say you are under a lot of pressure/stress.

How do you console a girl?

  1. Speak softly. …
  2. Give her a hug. …
  3. Tell her she is beautiful even when you think (or she does) she's at her worst, with a soft kiss on the cheek. …
  4. Don't tell her you think ANY other girl is “hot”. …
  5. She is your flower, treat her like it. …
  6. Tell her she is your princess, and you love her more than anything and anyone.

How do you make a girl relax?

  1. Take slow, deep breaths. Or try other breathing exercises for relaxation. …
  2. Soak in a warm bath.
  3. Listen to soothing music.
  4. Practice mindful meditation. …
  5. Write. …
  6. Use guided imagery.

What are the most relaxing words?

  • relaxed.
  • relaxing.
  • serene.
  • tranquil.
  • calm.
  • comfortable.
  • contented.
  • hushed.

How do you say relieve stress?

  1. chill,
  2. chill out.
  3. [slang],
  4. decompress,
  5. loosen up,
  6. mellow (out),
  7. relax,
  8. unwind,

How do you console a girl over text?

  1. “Whenever you need to call, I'm here.”
  2. “I wish I could be there right now.”
  3. “You're still in my thoughts. Remember that.”
  4. “Your family is lucky to have you through all this.”
  5. “Maybe I can't be there, but there's definitely something I can do.
Timothy Chehowski
Author
Timothy Chehowski
Timothy Chehowski is a travel writer and photographer with over 10 years of experience exploring the world. He has visited over 50 countries and has a passion for discovering off-the-beaten-path destinations and hidden gems. Juan's writing and photography have been featured in various travel publications.