What Does It Mean When A Child Shuts Down?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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Generally, there are two modes of shutting down:

oppositional and emotional

. When a child refuses to talk to a parent because he or she is not getting his or her way, the child may be acting oppositional. The refusal to talk to the parent feels like stonewalling or pouting.

Why do kids shut down emotionally?

Some children are super sensitive.

While they may not have the words for it, they feel powerless about being so overly sensitized that they have what we might call emotional

seizures

. They melt down emotionally then shut down to all around them.

How do you deal with a child who shuts down?

  1. Don't talk, listen. Or at least, talk less, listen more.
  2. Don't talk directly to your child. Let him overhear you expressing your concern or uncertainty (but not any criticism or judgment) to someone else.
  3. Write him or her a letter. Yep. Actually on paper.

What cause your child to shut down or get frustrated?

All kids are different, and no two will have the exact same triggers of frustration. A few common triggers include:

transitions, feeling misunderstood, and unexpected or new situations

. And don't overlook the two big ones—being hungry or tired.

What causes a person to shut down?


Depression

and anxiety are two of the most common causes. Severe levels of acute elevated stress or nervousness can also trigger feelings of . Post-traumatic stress disorder, which can be tied to depression and anxiety, can cause you to feel numb, too. Some medications can also cause numbness.

What can I do instead of shutting down?

  • Be present and remember that their Avoidance likely has little to do with you.
  • Provide a safe space and remind them that you are available.
  • Keep your promise; be available.
  • Put your judgment in the backseat.
  • Actively listen.
  • Provide abundant reassurance.

How do I stop shutting down emotionally?

  1. take a break from, or “table” the conversation.
  2. write down your thoughts and feelings to revisit later.
  3. stay calm.
  4. don't retaliate.
  5. don't throw an adult temper tantrum.
  6. do something self-soothing.
  7. consider professional intervention.

How do you know if your child has selective mutism?

Watch for these signs of selective mutism:


Rigid, “stiff as a board” body posture

. Expressionless, flat or “deer in headlights” face. Slow to respond in a social situation. Clinginess with parents when entering into social settings.

What does stonewalling mean in a relationship?

Stonewalling involves

refusing to communicate with another person

. Intentionally shutting down during an argument, also known as the silent treatment, can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship. 1

What do you do when your child refuses to do school work?


Try to set things up to make it as easy as possible

for kids who are still learning from home. This can reduce some stress, especially for kids who struggle with focus. If you're a parent or caregiver, share what you're seeing with teachers and ask if they've seen similar reactions. Talk with your child, too.

What causes anger issues in a child?

Anger issues in kids can be caused by conditions like

autism, ADHD, anxiety or learning disorders

. Kids with these conditions often have meltdowns around school or homework or when they don't want to do something. The good news is that children can learn skills to help them control their feelings.

How do you deal with a passive aggressive child?

  1. Deny anger.
  2. Resent authority.
  3. Give excessive excuses.
  4. Use the silent treatment.
  5. Keep others waiting and dangling.
  6. Claim misunderstanding or ignorance.
  7. Shut down conversations with “fine” and “whatever.”

How can I help my child with low frustration tolerance?

  1. Help children learn to wait. While they wait, talk to them about what you are doing. …
  2. Help children cope with frustration. When they fall apart, let them know that you appreciate how difficult it can be: “Puzzles are hard! …
  3. Use humor. This can reduce tension.

What are the 5 signs of emotional suffering?

  • Personality change in a way that seems different for that person.
  • Agitation or displaying anger, anxiety or moodiness.
  • Withdrawal or isolation from others.
  • Poor self-care and perhaps engaging in risky behavior.
  • Hopelessness, or feelings of being overwhelmed and worthless.

What disorder causes lack of emotions?

As a condition marked by lack of feelings, it can be difficult to recognize the symptoms of

alexithymia

. Since this condition is associated with an inability to express feelings, an affected person might come across as being out of touch or apathetic.

What are the causes of emotional detachment?

  • experiencing significant loss, such as the death of a parent or separation from a caregiver.
  • having traumatic experiences.
  • growing up in an orphanage.
  • experiencing emotional abuse.
  • experiencing physical abuse.
  • experiencing neglect.
Charlene Dyck
Author
Charlene Dyck
Charlene is a software developer and technology expert with a degree in computer science. She has worked for major tech companies and has a keen understanding of how computers and electronics work. Sarah is also an advocate for digital privacy and security.