What Is Stonewalling In A Marriage?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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Stonewalling is

a refusal to communicate or cooperate

. Such behaviour occurs in situations such as marriage guidance counseling, diplomatic negotiations, politics and legal cases. Body language may indicate and reinforce this by avoiding contact and engagement with the other party.

Is stonewalling grounds for divorce?

Stonewalling. Regardless of what you choose to call it, ignoring ― or being evasive toward your partner during an argument ― is a huge communication sin in a relationship. … In fact, according to renowned researcher John Gottman,

routine stonewalling is one of the biggest predictors of divorce

.

How do you deal with a stonewalling spouse?

Listen to what your partner has to say and don’t be judgmental. The more comfortable a person feels communicating with you, the more likely they will be to open and stop stonewalling behavior.

Make eye contact

. Nothing says you’re interested more than making eye contact when you are trying to communicate with someone.

What stonewalling does to your partner?

The Effects of Stonewalling

Because stonewalling

inhibits a couple’s ability to resolve conflicts

, it can cause petty disagreements to escalate out of control. When people experience stonewalling, they may react with desperation and say or do anything to get the stonewalling to stop.

What does it mean to stonewall someone?

Stonewalling

involves refusing to communicate with another person

. Intentionally shutting down during an argument, also known as the silent treatment, can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship. 1

What is narcissistic stonewalling?

The silent treatment, a form of stonewalling, is

a tool used by narcissists to punish someone who has behaved in a way they don’t like

. Most people want to right wrongs and if they feel like something negative has happened in the relationship, they want to discuss it to lessen tension and to protect the relationship.

What are examples of stonewalling?

Examples Of Stonewalling


Your partner likes to roll their eyes at your remarks and won’t make eye contact

.

You rarely hear your partner say anything when you argue

.

When they do speak

, they are either defensive or try to shift the blame to you. You get angry and agitated when your partner ignores you.

What is emotional abandonment in marriage?


Loss of physical closeness due to death, divorce, and illness

is also an emotional abandonment. It also happens when our emotional needs aren’t being met in the relationship — including in our relationship with ourselves. And although loss of physical closeness can lead to emotional abandonment, the reverse isn’t true.

Is stonewalling a red flag?

Nobody’s Stonewalling Anyone

So naturally,

anyone shutting anyone else out is

a major red flag. Experts even have a name for it: stonewalling. “Stonewalling is essentially when there is an issue in the relationship and your partner refuses to communicate verbally. They just shut down and withdraw from interaction,” Dr.

Is stonewalling narcissistic?

Some of the most popular ways narcissists use withholding include stonewalling (

the shutting down of conversations before they’ve even begun

), the silent treatment, a sudden withdrawal of affection and physical intimacy without reason, and unexplained disappearances where they refuse to contact you or engage with you …

What Husbands should not say to their wives?

  • “I need to tell you something. Today I…” …
  • “I hear what you’re saying, but I disagree. …
  • “We should have sex soon.” …
  • “I’m concerned by how much we’re spending.” …
  • “I was wrong. …
  • “What you said/did really hurt me.” …
  • “Can we set another time to talk about this?”

What does gaslighting mean?

Gaslighting is a

form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity

, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.

What you should never say to your partner?

  • ”If you really loved me, you’d do it. ” …
  • ”You make me whole. …
  • ”I wish things were how they used to be. …
  • ”You make me feel guilty for hanging out with friends. …
  • “You’re so boring – you cramp my style.” …
  • ”Why do you NEVER listen to me? …
  • ”You’re so selfish! …
  • ”You’ve changed.

Why does my husband turn everything around on me?

They turn the story around

to make it seem like you are at fault

, deflecting attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty. This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting. … Gaslighting can come from a romantic partner, a boss, a friend, or anyone else.

What it feels like to be stonewalled?


Feeling hurt, angry, confused and frustrated

are some of the emotions a person being stonewalled may feel. … People may find they become confused, dependent and weak making it difficult for them to leave the relationship or they become very angry and leave as quickly as they can.

How do you break stonewalling?

So, if you are stonewalling and feeling flooded, say that you need a

break using whatever signal, word, or phrase you and your partner have decided upon

. Let each other know when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Then, you need to walk away and do something soothing on your own.

Amira Khan
Author
Amira Khan
Amira Khan is a philosopher and scholar of religion with a Ph.D. in philosophy and theology. Amira's expertise includes the history of philosophy and religion, ethics, and the philosophy of science. She is passionate about helping readers navigate complex philosophical and religious concepts in a clear and accessible way.