How Do You Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

, , , ,

The best thing you can do is to focus on how to start a conversation with him. During your no contact period, when you are calm, confident, and collected, here’s what you should do:

Think about what you know about your ex, and make a list of things that will engage him

. Notice I said HIM, not you.

How do I start talking to my ex again?

The rule of thumb is

to wait 30 days before you speak to your ex once again

. If you were together for a very long time and you break up, you may need to extend this to six weeks. At the most, 2-2.5 months is how long the no-contact phase should go.

What do you say to your ex after no contact?

  1. Think about how it will affect you. …
  2. If you’re currently dating someone, you should consider their feelings. …
  3. Take your time responding. …
  4. Keep your response light. …
  5. Don’t rush into a response, friendship, or rebound. …
  6. Be open and honest with them.

What should I text my ex to start a conversation?

  1. #1 — Ask Your Ex Specific, Open-Ended Questions. …
  2. #2 — Share Gossip & Updates About Friends or “Insider” Topics. …
  3. #3 — Tell Your Ex About The Great Things That Have Happened In Your Life Since The Breakup.

Should I reach out to my ex first after no contact?

Ultimately, the choice to reach out to an ex after a period of no contact is

totally up to you

. Just make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons and that it won’t actually make your heart hurt more now than it did before you hit send.

What are the stages of no contact?

After going through phases of

anger, denial, bargaining and depression

, you’ve finally gained acceptance. It’s one of the signs that the no contact rule is working when your well-being and happiness become your prime focus.

Do I message my ex?

“Everyone holds on for a different length of time. Some people avoid the pain of loss and grief by texting their ex. … Try dating again when you’re ready, and in the meantime, it’s fine to stay in touch with your ex via text; just make sure they aren’t rejecting you or causing you any pain.

How do you know if your ex still wants you?

  1. They’re Trying To Get To Know You Again. …
  2. They’re The One Reaching Out. …
  3. They’re Sharing What’s Going On In Their Life. …
  4. They Ask About Your Dating Life. …
  5. They Act Jealous. …
  6. They Share Their Relationship Status. …
  7. They Stay Connected On Social Media.

What is a good conversation starter?

  • Tell me about yourself.
  • Have you done anything exciting lately?
  • What made you smile today?
  • How did you meet the host?
  • What’s your favorite form of social media?
  • What was the last good book you read?
  • Do you listen to any podcasts?

How do I talk to my ex?

  1. #1 — Ask Your Ex Specific, Open-Ended Questions. …
  2. #2 — Share Gossip & Updates About Friends or “Insider” Topics. …
  3. #3 — Tell Your Ex About The Great Things That Have Happened In Your Life Since The Breakup.

Does no contact help you move on?


No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days

, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media. It can feel like an extreme move when you’re still working to get over a breakup, but the truth is that cutting off contact with an ex is the fastest, most effective way to truly move on.

How long after no contact should I give up?

At the very least, the no contact rule requires that you keep radio

silence for 30 days after the breakup

. Depending on your situation, that void might have to extent for a few more weeks or months. The goal of no contact is to give you the power of silence after break up.

Why do narcissists come back after no contact?

A narcissist will come back after no contact

if they find themselves low on attention

, and they consider you easy to get that attention from. Most narcissists hate being alone, and they need attention far more than most people. Narcissists don’t care about your feelings, and they don’t miss you.

Does he think about me during no contact?

The answer is:

Yes

. Your ex misses you in the very same way he was in a relationship with you… Inconsistently. … You already know this, but the purpose of no contact is to remove yourself from a toxic relationship and avoid being triggered by someone who brought you pain, so that you can heal and move forward.

How successful is the no contact rule?

The “no contact rule” is so

effective because it means a person has accepted the fact the relationship is over

. Putting away mementos, blocking phone numbers, email addresses, and unfriending an ex on social media are catharsis actions.

Does the no contact rule actually work?

Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, ceasing all contact on both ends ensures that you both have time to process the situation without interference from the other. So yes,

the no contact rule works

—even if you’re the one who has been dumped.

Leah Jackson
Author
Leah Jackson
Leah is a relationship coach with over 10 years of experience working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships. She holds a degree in psychology and has trained with leading relationship experts such as John Gottman and Esther Perel. Leah is passionate about helping people build strong, healthy relationships and providing practical advice to overcome common relationship challenges.