Why Do People Hurt The Ones They Love?

by | Last updated on January 24, 2024

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We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1)

Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma

– we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.

Is it true you always hurt the one you love?

It is actually confirmed by research that we are more likely to be aggressive to the ones we know better and love the most. … Regardless of whether it is direct or indirect aggression, the fact is that

we all hurt the ones we love the most

, be it intentionally or unintentionally.

Can you love someone and still hurt them?

Love is closely connected with

vulnerability

: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.

What to do when you hurt the person you love?

  1. Sincerely Apologize.
  2. Recognize That You Can’t Change What Has Already Happened.
  3. Remember That Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
  4. Work on Improving Yourself.
  5. Don’t Focus Entirely on the Negative.
  6. Consider Couples Therapy.
  7. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can you love after being hurt?

This is especially true after you’ve been hurt because if you truly love yourself, the pain won’t run so deep. When you have self-love,

you’re able to open up and accept love from others once you’ve healed from the pain

. That love will serve as a bulletproof vest.

How do you love someone again after they hurt you?

  1. Own Up To Your Mistake — & Mistakes. …
  2. Give Them As Much Time As They Need. …
  3. Take Things Slowly. …
  4. Be Gentle With Your Partner. …
  5. Accept That Your Relationship May Have Permanently Changed. …
  6. Be Fully Present. …
  7. Listen To Your Partner. …
  8. Try To Work Out Why You Hurt Them.

Can you cheat on someone you love?

So it’s possible to feel deep attachment to a long-term partner at the same time you feel intense romantic love toward someone else and even also feel sexual attraction toward another person, Fisher said. … And that’s why, Fisher says,

some people may cheat on their partner

.

What to do when you hurt your partner’s feelings?

  1. Apologize and ask for forgiveness. This may seem obvious, but it is a crucial step. …
  2. Give them space in they need it. Some people need space after they have been hurt. …
  3. Offer affection if it seems appropriate. …
  4. Ask what they need from you. …
  5. Provide some assurance.

How do you not hurt someone you love?

  1. Identify the Behaviors That Hurt Your Loved Ones. You can tell your partner is hurt by your actions, but do you know what you’re doing that causes the pain? …
  2. Work on Healing Your Emotional Trauma. …
  3. Improve Family Communication. …
  4. Protect Intimate Details You Have. …
  5. Keep Your Emotions in Check. …
  6. Be Empathetic.

How do I love him again after being hurt?

When you have

self-love

, you’re able to open up and accept love from others once you’ve healed from the pain. That love will serve as a bulletproof vest. It will allow you to be vulnerable and open to the possibility of caring for another person.

How do I love people again?

  1. Think of heartbreak as something of the past. …
  2. Trust the universe. …
  3. Take the lessons. …
  4. Don’t take your bitterness or your resentment. …
  5. Understand that closing your heart off is not going to make you any happier. …
  6. Be honest with yourself.

Can a heartbroken man love again?

Do not push yourself to rush into love after heartbreak too quickly. Take the time you need to heal and focus on yourself. The best way to enter a new relationship is as a happy and healthy version of yourself. The good news is that

it is totally possible to fall in love again after a heart break

.

How do you heal emotionally?

  1. Be yourself. You must be yourself. …
  2. Invent yourself. You come with attributes, capacities and proclivities and you are molded in a certain environment. …
  3. Love and be loved. …
  4. Get a grip on your mind. …
  5. Forget the past. …
  6. Flip the anxiety switch off.

How do you let go of someone who broke your heart?

  1. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. …
  2. But don’t become your feelings. …
  3. Cut off communication with your ex. …
  4. Find a support system. …
  5. Exercise. …
  6. Remember what sucked. …
  7. Take care of yourself. …
  8. Don’t judge the length of your healing process.

How does God heal a broken heart?

God quickens and renews us by the Living Word, through and by Jesus himself, who came to heal the brokenhearted through

His payment of His own blood on the Cross

. Our lives would totally be broken if Jesus had not put His own life on the line and took our own place for our sins.

Leah Jackson
Author
Leah Jackson
Leah is a relationship coach with over 10 years of experience working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships. She holds a degree in psychology and has trained with leading relationship experts such as John Gottman and Esther Perel. Leah is passionate about helping people build strong, healthy relationships and providing practical advice to overcome common relationship challenges.